


Now I Feel Your Name, Coursing Through My Veins

by scruffylou



Series: Of All The Gin Joints In All The World [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Sex, Emotions!, Grinding, M/M, Murphamy - Freeform, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, also, clarke isn't really in it, just alluded to, she isn't mentioned by name, the 100 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:05:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scruffylou/pseuds/scruffylou
Summary: Bellamy apologizes and decides to finally let Murphy in.





	Now I Feel Your Name, Coursing Through My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, this is the third and last part of the series. It was hard for me to write, so I'm sorry if it seems a little disconnected. Thank you so much for reading. I really, really hope you like it. Let me know if you'd read a longer (non-AU) Murphamy fic from me, because that might be happening. :b

The third time they met, Murphy didn't really expect it to happen. It had been a week since he slammed Bellamy’s car door in his face and basically told him to fuck off, and he didn't feel bad about it…but he did think that he'd pretty much solidified Bellamy’s original decision to not want to get to know him. 

Murphy was planning to get good and drunk and force Monty and Jasper to have to drag him home and put him to bed that night. He didn't want to feel anything for a few hours. But he didn't even get to the first drink because as he rounded the corner by the bar, a few steps behind his friends, he heard a familiar voice call his name across the parking lot. "Murphy!"

He turned to look at the person shouting, even though he already knew who it was. He exchanged a look with Jasper and Monty and rolled his eyes. "I'll be in in a minute. Just gotta get rid of this asshole."

Jasper gave him a look, then shrugged his shoulders and walked inside anyway. Monty looked from Bellamy to Murphy and back again and hurried after Jasper. 

Murphy turned and started to tromp across the parking lot, his beat up combat boots hitting the asphalt with a steady rhythm. 

"You just can't leave me alone, can you?" he said flatly as he reached Bellamy. It wasn’t flirty like his normal back and forth with Bellamy. He was serious and he was still pissed off. 

"Murphy, just let me explain please," Bellamy started. 

"I'm not a toy you can come play with when you're bored. A one night stand is fine but you can't keep coming back here and fucking with me," Murphy said defiantly, his hands clenched at his sides. He dug into his palms with his fingernails. 

Bellamy looked like he felt terrible. His eyes were full of guilt and he was scanning Murphy's face the entire time he'd been talking. He clenched his jaw and swallowed and then he said, "My name's Bellamy.” Murphy looked confused for two seconds and then he looked like he was trying to decide something, but he didn't respond. "And I do wanna get to know you. If you'll let me," he finished. 

Murphy's stomach lurched. He didn't know if this was better or worse than just not talking to Bellamy again. It was definitely scarier.  "Do you mean that? Or are you just trying to get in my pants?" Murphy asked, a little smirk playing on his face. 

Bellamy laughed and sounded relieved. He knew Murphy joking around with him meant that maybe things were going to be okay. "I think I've already done that." 

"Shut the fuck up, Bellamy," Murphy said, smiling at the sound of Bellamy's name coming out of his mouth. "Wanna come inside for a drink?"

Bellamy smiled. "Yeah. I'd like that."

 

* * *

 

Jasper and Monty looked surprised at first when Murphy walked into the bar with Bellamy behind him, but any awkwardness was out the door pretty fast after Bellamy sat down bought a round for all of them. They crowded around a small table in the corner and laughed and talked all evening. Bellamy fit in like an old friend. He laughed when Jasper told embarrassing stories about Murphy and seemed interested to hear all about Monty's idea for a video game he was working on when he wasn't at his IT job.  

Murphy couldn’t take his eyes off Bellamy the entire night. He hadn’t seen Bellamy relaxed and laughing and having a good time. He’d never had the chance to. But now he was noticing all the freckles on Bellamy’s cheeks, the cocky smile he reserved for flashing at Murphy when he didn’t think anyone else was looking, what his hands looked like when he nervously messed with a coaster on the table, the dark curls that dusted his temples that made him look boyish even against his harsh jawline, and how inherently kind his dark eyes were.

When closing time came around, Jasper was pretty well hammered and Monty was getting annoyed with his clingy best friend. “I think it’s time for you to go home, man,” he sighed and looked at Murphy. “You coming?”

Murphy hesitated and glanced at Bellamy, who was trying not to smile and pulling apart a piece of straw paper on the table. “I’ll be home later,” he decided, trying not to smile too much.

Monty grinned and shook his head. “Okay. Have fun you guys. It was good to meet you, Bellamy.” Bellamy returned the sentiment and laughed with Murphy as they watched Monty try to drag a half-lucid Jasper across the bar and out the door. 

“It’ll take them a while to get home,” Murphy mused, trying not to let any kind of silence set in. He was a little nervous all of a sudden now that it was just the two of them. Sex was easy. Actually talking to a guy he liked was not, no matter how much he wanted to.

Bellamy nodded, and looked up to meet Murphy’s eyes. All of a sudden, he looked kind of determined, and maybe a little nervous too. “Hey, can I take you somewhere? It’s my favorite place. We could get out of here, and I’ll show you.”

Half of Murphy’s mouth quirked up in a grin. “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

After they closed their tabs, Murphy followed Bellamy to his car and laughed when Bellamy opened the passenger door for him. He climbed in and before Bellamy closed it he bent down, leaned against the door on one arm and moved his other hand to the side of Murphy’s face. He pulled him in and kissed him, slow and sweet. Murphy could feel Bellamy smiling against his lips and he leaned into it, not wanting it to end. Bellamy pulled back a little and brushed his thumb over Murphy’s cheek. “So fucking beautiful, Murphy,” he murmured, and kissed him again. Murphy could’ve died and been happy at that moment. Hearing his name fall softly from Bellamy’s lips was probably the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. Bellamy finally shut the door and made his way around to the other side of the car. He started it up and they drove, listening to music and talking occasionally, but it was nice even when they didn’t say anything. 

Murphy didn’t ask where they were going. He wondered, and he was a little nervous, but he trusted Bellamy enough not to ask. After about twenty minutes, they pulled into an apartment complex that kind of reminded Murphy of being at the beach. He stared at the leafy plants and pretty water features that passed by the window and kind of felt out of place. It was beautiful there, and he never really felt like he belonged anywhere beautiful.

Bellamy parked the car and turned it off and Murphy looked over at him. “This is your place,” he said, more of a statement than a question.

“Yep. But that’s not really where I’m taking you. Well it is, but, just, come on. You’ll see,” Bellamy attempted to explain and got out of the car. Murphy followed his lead and his face and neck and fingertips got hot as Bellamy reached behind him and held his hand out without looking back, expecting Murphy to take it. He did, linking fingers with him and letting Bellamy lead him up a flight of stairs to a door on the second floor of the building. He let go of Murphy’s hand and fished his key out of his pocket. Murphy shifted from foot to foot, nervous as hell now that they weren’t drunk with their tongues down each other’s throats. 

The door clicked open and Bellamy turned on the light. They were in a small living room, cozy with an old fluffy couch and two chairs and a sliding glass door that lead out to a patio. Bellamy tossed his keys on the end table by the door and held his arms up. "This is it."

Murphy smiled. "It's nice. No roommates. I could definitely go for that sometimes."

Bellamy smiled, but it looked kind of fake. "It's okay I guess."

Murphy was going to say something nice back, but before he could Bellamy walked toward a closed door off the living room and said "follow me." 

The room they ended up in seemed to be Bellamy's bedroom. It was dark, but he didn't turn a light on. He just walked across to the window, only illuminated by the moonlight shining in. Murphy watched curiously as he opened it and popped the screen out. "You can get onto the roof from here. This is what I wanted to show you."

Murphy smiled. It made him happy that Bellamy was sharing a little bit of himself with Murphy. He was excited to get to know things like that. It felt like a privilege somehow. 

Bellamy climbed out and stepped onto the shingled surface. It slanted up and was positioned between his building and the one next door, so no one below could really see it unless they walked under the trees and knew to look for it. 

Murphy followed Bellamy out and sat next to him about halfway up the incline. It was a quiet night, a little cold, but no clouds in the sky. Bellamy was already looking up, and Murphy followed his lead. He felt like he could see every star. 

"Damn. This is amazing," Murphy breathed. 

Bellamy looked at him and smiled. "I was hoping you'd appreciate it. I come up here all the time. It feels like nobody could ever find it. It's nice." Murphy got that. He got the need for a place like that. He smiled softly and brushed his fingertips across Bellamy's cheek. For the first time since they'd met, Bellamy looked nervous. Murphy figured maybe he felt exposed. He went from not wanting to tell Murphy his name to letting him into his apartment. That was a lot. 

"So, if you don't wanna answer it's okay...but, why'd you decide to change your mind about..." he gestured between them awkwardly, "this?"

Bellamy half smiled, but he still looked anxious. He ran one of his hands through his hair and looked down at his lap. "Uh, I just, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I haven't laughed a lot in a long time. He paused, but Murphy didn't say anything. He just let him take his time. "The person I was with...she died. It's been a while now, and I'm fine but...I try to avoid anything that seems like it could go somewhere. I don't know. And it's hard to make me smile anymore. And you and your smartass mouth did that." He smiled a little. "I wanted to keep being around you. And after your scars...I really fucked that up. So I had to give in and just get over myself."

Murphy had been studying the side of Bellamy's face as he talked and at first he'd felt his eyes burning a little. He had no idea that that was the reason Bellamy was so closed off. But toward the end of his explanation he was smiling softly, and he noticed Bellamy playing with his hands in his lap nervously. "Bellamy," he said gently when he was done talking, putting one of his hands over Bellamy's to still them. Bellamy looked up and met his eyes, their faces close. Murphy turned his body toward Bellamy and pulled him in with his hands cupping Bellamy's jaw. He kissed him, trying to tell him how much this all meant without saying anything. Trying to tell him how scared he was that this was just a fluke, some cruel joke the universe was playing on Murphy that would be snatched away like every other good thing in his life. Bellamy kissed back with one hand on Murphy's hip, thumb brushing back and forth against his hip bone. He moved his hand under Murphy's sweater and up his ribs slowly. Murphy shivered at the feeling of his cold fingertips on his skin. Bellamy pulled away but kept his forehead against Murphy's and laughed a little. "I'm sorry, my hands are cold." 

Murphy shook his head and chuckled. "No, it's okay, it feels good." He pressed his lips to Bellamy's again and brushed over his cheek with his thumb. He let his hands trail down to the sides of Bellamy's neck and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Bellamy let Murphy lay him down, half of Murphy's body hovering over Bellamy's as he kept kissing him. It was different this time. Nobody was in control. Bellamy was letting go and Murphy was taking that as seriously as he could. He gently kissed a trail down Bellamy's jawline and moved to his neck, light kisses against Bellamy's pulse point, his Adam's apple, and the dip in his collar bone. With every kiss Murphy felt Bellamy's body relax a little more underneath him. He pulled back a little and stared at Bellamy. His eyes were closed, long eyelashes brushing his warm skin. He looked so calm, breathing evenly, the hint of a smile on his face. "Why'd you stop?" he joked without opening his eyes. 

"Just wanted to look at you," Murphy answered without skipping a beat.

Bellamy opened his eyes. "How romantic."

"Shut the fuck up," Murphy grinned. "But seriously, he continued, "I'm sorry if you felt forced to tell me any of that stuff. And I don't care if you never tell me your last name or if you don't want me in your apartment or- or if we never hang out in the sunlight," Bellamy laughed and Murphy smiled but he had to make it clear that he was telling the truth. "I don't care about that stuff. Just...don't disappear."

Bellamy's smile went soft and he leaned up and caught Murphy's mouth in a kiss. When he pulled away, his voice was quiet but he made sure Murphy heard him when he said, "I won't." Murphy leaned back down and kissed him again and eventually they settled so Bellamy was on his back and Murphy was laying down with his head on Bellamy's stomach. Bellamy idly played with Murphy's hair and they talked for almost an hour about their lives and the world and what they each dreamed about doing. While he was talking about the dog he had when he was a kid, Bellamy felt Murphy shiver. He lifted his head up and looked down at him. "I'm cold too. Let's go inside."

Murphy's eyes were heavy and he'd been hoping Bellamy would ask him to stay. He smiled sleepily and stood up, reaching his hand out to help Bellamy up too. They climbed back through the window and Bellamy closed it. "My bed's warm. Get in. I'll get you a sweatshirt." 

Murphy didn't have to be told twice. He kicked his shoes off and started unbuttoning his jeans while Bellamy picked through a dresser drawer. Murphy threw his jeans on top of his shoes on the ground and caught the sweatshirt Bellamy threw him. He pulled off his sweater and pulled the sweatshirt on. It was oversized on his small frame and the sleeves almost reached his fingertips. Bellamy had his shirt off by now and was crawling into the bed in his boxers. He looked up at Murphy wearing his sweatshirt, his hair messed up and his eyes sleepy. "You look so good. Come here," he said softly. Murphy wondered if Bellamy knew he'd pretty much do whatever he wanted at this point. He was completely, stupidly wrapped up in him.

He climbed into the bed. The sheets were cool and soft and he let Bellamy pull him in and kiss him, soft and quiet, and lay him down on his back with his head on the pillow. Bellamy lay on his side, half on top of him and kept kissing him. Murphy opened his mouth to let Bellamy's tongue in and ran his fingertips lightly up Bellamy's back and down his ribs and stomach until he reached the top of his boxers and slowly hooked his thumbs under the waistband. Bellamy moved his hips into the small touch and Murphy was satisfied with the reaction. He made a move to pull Bellamy's boxers down, but Bellamy touched his wrist and stopped kissing long enough to speak lowly against Murphy's chin. "You're not naked enough yet.” The things that came out of Bellamy’s mouth sometimes were unbelievably hot and Murphy exhaled sharply. Smiling an embarrassed little smile, he sat up and started to pull the sweatshirt off.

“I just put this on,” he complained, even though he didn’t really mind.

“You can put it back on later,” Bellamy promised as he helped Murphy pull the sweatshirt over his head. He threw it on the floor and laid Murphy back on the bed again. He started kissing him again and pulled Murphy’s bottom lip between his teeth while he drew light circles on Murphy’s stomach with his fingertips. This coaxed a low moan from his throat, and he twisted his fingers in Bellamy’s hair and tried to pull him impossibly closer. Bellamy moved his hand to Murphy’s hip and pushed gently so he was pinned to the bed. He moved on top of him, straddling his thin hips and kissed a wet trail down his neck and collarbone. He slid down so he was eye level with Murphy’s chest and kissed the dip of his sternum. He ran his hands over each rib and kissed the places his fingers touched, letting his teeth scrape Murphy’s skin as he moved to each new spot. Murphy was making soft noises on the pillow above him and kept his fingers tangled lightly in Bellamy’s hair.

Bellamy finally reached the skin above the line of Murphy’s boxers and Murphy shivered when he started to pull them down. He sat up and leaned on his elbows, eyes hooded as he watched Bellamy pull them off his legs and throw them on the floor with the rest of his clothes. Bellamy looked up and met his eyes and Murphy needed more than just letting Bellamy take care of him. He needed to feel Bellamy and to make him understand how he felt. “Bellamy, I want you naked too,” he breathed. Bellamy smirked crookedly and did what Murphy said. He crawled back up the bed, straddling Murphy again and letting Murphy pull his hips forward so their erections were pressed against each other between their stomachs. Murphy moved his hips up and grinded against Bellamy slowly. Bellamy moaned against his mouth. They weren’t really kissing anymore, just breathing heavily with their foreheads touching. Bellamy’s eyes were closed, but Murphy couldn’t close his. He wanted to remember what Bellamy looked like like this. 

“Fuck, you’re so…so hot Bellamy. You feel so good,” Murphy said breathlessly. Bellamy dug his fingertips into Murphy’s hip in response and thrust against him, slow and heavy. Murphy groaned and grabbed the back of Bellamy’s neck, pulling him into a bruising kiss. 

“Gonna fuck you now, okay?” Bellamy whispered between kisses, his hips rolling against Murphy’s again and again.

“Please,” Murphy begged, and reluctantly let go of Bellamy so he could get up and get lube and a condom. He was back in a second though, and after he’d rolled the condom on and lubed himself up, he kneeled in front of Murphy and kissed him again. 

He lined himself up and pressed his forehead against Murphy’s as he pushed inside slowly. Murphy exhaled shakily and held onto Bellamy’s hips. He began to move in and out and took his time, bottoming out after the first four or five thrusts. “Bellamy,” Murphy breathed, digging his fingertips into Bellamy’s skin and pushing his hips up to meet Bellamy’s. His dick was pressed between their stomachs and every time Bellamy moved the friction made Murphy want to explode. 

Bellamy hit his prostate and Murphy moaned louder than he’d meant to. “That’s…fuck, right there. Please don’t stop,” he begged, and Bellamy grabbed his hands and pinned his wrists above his head as he kept hitting the same spot over and over.  Murphy felt a warm pooling in his stomach and before he could say anything else, he was coming in between them, all over both of their stomachs. 

The sounds Murphy was making through his orgasm were obscene, little moans and breathless pants of Bellamy’s name and it was too much for Bellamy. He was coming a minute later, rocking his hips into Murphy, working himself through it. When he was done, he slowed his hips and Murphy pulled him into a sloppy, smiling kiss. Bellamy’s dick slipped out of Murphy while they were lazily kissing, and Murphy’s eyes were hazy and fucked out when Bellamy pulled away a little to stare at him. He brushed the hair off his forehead like he had a few times before and his voice was soft and low when he said, “So fucking beautiful, Murphy.”

Murphy was glad he was too pale to blush, because he refused to blush in front of Bellamy. He let Bellamy clean them off with a shirt he picked up off the floor, and he slipped Bellamy’s sweatshirt back on when he was done. It smelled like him, like boy and whiskey and cologne and something else he couldn’t name. Bellamy pulled Murphy into him and wrapped his arms around him, breathing into his neck. For the first time in a long time, Murphy started to drift off to sleep feeling safe and happy. He couldn’t explain it, but he knew that this good thing wasn’t going to disappear.


End file.
